About Me

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Melbourne, Victoria, Australia
I tell my story. I'm not here to sell a product, but to challenge people's thoughts to take better care of themselves. To validate those that are already doing this. To educate, to eradicate the mental health stigma, to influence those that need influencing and doing all of this with respect as each person has their own journey and we need to recognise that. I am vulnerable and raw. I have to be authentic. I am me. I have faults, I have made and continue to make mistakes, but I learn from those mistakes, I am me.

Thursday, August 10, 2023

Thank you Chester Bennington

As I am sitting here letting my brain become accustomed to no psych medication, which I will write once my brain and body has flushed the remaining parts of it out, I am watching Linkin Park music clips and marveling at the pure genius that Chester was.

Chester was a tortured soul and tragically took his own life in July 2017.

His voice, utter brilliance.

Chester will never know this but I owe him and his bandmates a tonne.

February 27, 2013.

I was four days out of hospital and Linkin Park where in Melbourne. I armed myself with a $99 ticket, anxiety sky rocketing and took my single seat just to the left of the stage, a great position to be in to watch my all time favorite band.

I knew that I wasn't going to be able to just sit back, watch, absorb and enjoy. I knew it was going to be a very real challenge to remain seated, to stay present, to not melt down with anxiety.

There were times when I was right on the edge of an anxiety attack but through Chester's voice, I was able to control it. Could I have controlled it without Chester, no chance.

There were other times when I was at ease, comfortable, my old self, loud music, cheering crowd, but this would be torn down because of who I now was, a diagnosed post traumatic stress disorder, anxiety and depression sufferer who really had not many ideas on how to live with it.

I still remember parts of the night and look back with a smile.

The lessons that I learnt that night, I will remember forever. After a decade of climbing symptoms resulting in a complete mental crash and hospitalisation and having my world turned upside down, one of the most powerful lessons from that night, the old me was still there. He was alive, I just had to give him more power and to overcome this.

All of these years later, I look and smile.

Am I sad that Chester took his life, absolutely. For his wife, his kids, his friends, his colleagues.

Am I sad that I will never see Chester sing again, well I am just glad that it happened. Grateful.

There are millions that would love to have seen him perform but never will. I got to see him three times. I am a lucky one.

Rest in peace Chester and thank you.

Be well.

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